So I've been giving this list a lot of thought. It's compiled from observations of myself, the world around me, and several interesting conversations. I believe these all to be true, but I can't say that I follow them religiously. It is my goal to keep trying.
Genuine Friends are hard to find: People that will truly do anything for you because they really care about your well being, not what they have to benefit from you. When you find these people, fight to keep them an active part of your life and give selflessly back to them. They are worth the investment.
You are in control of your Happiness: He doesn't treat you right? Leave. Not happy at work? Apply somewhere else or educate yourself to better your situation. There are lots of things in life we choose not to alter, but very few that can't be.
Help others: Give of yourself to help others realize their full potential. Self esteem and the opportunity for success can make a world of difference to someone who doesn't have them. If you can, give these things freely.
Say thank you: Time is precious. When others spend their allotment going out of their way to do something to please or assist you, that is no small gift. Let them know you appreciate them, and that their efforts aren't for nothing.
Invest in yourself: You deserve to put yourself first. Take time to relax. Treat yourself to simple pleasures. Make it a priority to educate yourself about who you are and what you really want out of life.
People give love the way they wish to receive it: A friend recently brought this to my attention. The more I thought about it, about myself, and others, the more I realized it was true. That's why grandma buys you those Victorian dolls you never showed interest in, or why your best friend serves you soup when you're feeling ill. Because they care, and what better thing to give than something they know they would appreciate themselves? Take a moment to think about the important people in your life... do they make you presents, surprise you with weekend trips, or cheer you up with jokes? Try giving that type of love back to them in some way. See what type of reaction you get.
Regrets suck more than rejection: Wounds heal, regrets fester for life.
If you can't bring yourself to accept, find a way to understand:
Everyone has that person in life they just don't get, or some type of person they see as a threat or enemy. Maybe their moral standards are different, or they value different things in their life than you do. You don't have to agree with everyone's point of view or choices. But find a way to understand why they see what they see. You make the choices you make based on what you know about yourself and what you think you know about the world. If someone truly believes they see the right, try to understand how they drew that conclusion based on what type of circumstances shaped their life. Understand it, and hopefully in time you'll accept them for their individual views and for what they are.
Tell the truth: Sounds cheezy, I know. At some point the truth always comes out. Either it builds up until you can't hold it in, you decrease the quality of the type of person you're trying to be, or you weaken the foundation you've worked so hard to build with someone. Is it worth it? I used to tell little white lies to spare others feelings, or to keep myself safe from putting myself out there... afraid of being laughed at or turned down for thinking or doing something differently. Wouldn't you rather know the people around you like you for who you really are, and not just for who you pretend to be? I get lost easily, I'm horrible at math and geography, more forgetful than your 80 year old grandpa and am fairly naive. The people I love most in this world know these things, and accept them.
It's OK to be scared:
It's ok. Being scared means a few things. Either you are out of your comfort zone, or your putting your real self out there and are afriad you will be harmed because you feel so exposed. The harder things usually feel the most amazing in the end if you acheive them. But how will you know if you don't try? It's ok to put yourself on the line first. Before someone else puts their heart out there. Better to know how things might have been, then to be 80 years old on your death bed thinking... "If only I would have told him I liked him... but I was too scared to hear that he didn't like me back." Honestly... won't that excuse sound so lame 50 years from now?
Find balance: Fulfillment must come equally from loved ones, and purposeful life/work accomplishments. Being loved but feeling unsuccessful, or feeling successful with noone to share it with never works out. If it did, then Hollywood would be filled with perfectly happy people and magazines would have no drama to write about.
